Welfare - who needs it?

I'm way deep in an email conversation with a dear Republican friend of mine (no that's not an oxymoron) and I'm not sure I'm making any headway in converting him.  (He's desperately trying to convert me as well; to no avail).

I think in my next round to "talks" with him I'm going to agree with him on his stand on welfare and social programs (he hates them - big surprise).  I'm going to suggest that we make the tax cuts for the rich permanent and that we abolish any and all social welfare programs.  All those deadbeat moms out there who are having more and more kids just so they can get a raise on their welfare checks are going to be in for a big surprise.  Those new mothers counting on a little help from the W.I.C. will now have to compete at the dumpster right along with the rest of the poor.  Medicare???  Nope, that'll be gone so your parents and grandparents who are just barely hanging on as it is, will just have to suck it up and go without their meds; or maybe they could sell the last remaining family heirlooms and give their last few bucks to the big pharmacuticals.  Hey, those companies have a high overhead and need the money.

Cutting back on these programs will save a lot of money.  Sure, people will be out in the street and we'll be able to see a real-life Tiny Tim gimping around the streets of your town, but too bad.  The rich need their tax cuts.  But there'll be a catch.

When George Bush wants a new stadium for his Texas Rangers baseball team, he's going to have to dig into his pocket to pay for it.  No more government money for that stuff.  Tit for tat.  When the oil companies say that they cannot possible exist (along with their record-breaking profits) without a government handout for exploration, bummer.  Go to your rich banker friends and see if they'll give you a loan.  Oh, and speaking of loans, no more loan guarantees for the 70 year old nuclear industry.  If you can't stand on your own two feet by now, then you'll have to fall right along with those unwed mothers.

Think of the money we're going to save.  We'll be on a roll.  We can privatize our schools, which will save us even more.  Fire all those old, union teachers and bring in the young, not-quite-certified teachers.  You won't need to worry about how dismal these private schools are because if you're rich it won't matter.  You'll be sending your little Johnny to a great private school, just like you were going to do anyway.

Now you workin' people who are going to save a bundle can go right out and spend your $5 or $10 grand on a new motorcycle or snowmobile.  You'll never have enough to by the much needed medication for your parents, so what the hell, you might as well go blow it.  Those old people are going to check out anyway.

You rich folks, well here's a different story.  You're going to have to struggle and it's not going to be easy.  You may end up with an additional $400,000 or $500,000.  It might even be a couple of million if you're wicked rich.  You already have a ton of money and every single thing you've ever wanted.  Think of the burden that comes with this money.  You'll be up late at night drinking a glass of imported Cognac fretting away on how best to invest this money so you don't lose it.

Of course, you could always consider giving it to the poor who could use a little help.  Oh, sorry, what was I think.  That ain't gonna happen.

Merry Christmas